Dear Madge,
I have a friend who’s not a writer or editor. She is, however, very opinionated and she wants to look at my manuscript, which is with my real editor and is in its final edits before publication. At this point I just don’t think I can take another opinion but she won’t take “no” for an answer. What should I tell her?
Cri-ticked
Dear Ticked,
You could tell her the truth as you see it, which would go something like: Thanks for wanting to read it, but my editor has it and if I hear any more opinions on it, even good, smart, well-informed opinions when it is too late for me to actually change anything, I WILL JUST GO TOTALLY INSANE.
If she really won’t take the truth, you have to follow Ole Golly’s advice to Harriet when the heat is on: You have to lie.
– “I’m sorry, but I’m superstitious and I’m afraid if I show it to anyone, I’ll jinx it.”
– “There’s a clause in my contract that prohibits sharing my manuscript with well-meaning, overly opinionated friends.”
– “I could show it to you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
– “It’s supposed to be top-secret until the release so no one has seen it except my ___________.” (husband, wife, editor, personal trainer, cat, dog, goldfish)
Oh, and let’s throw in the diversionary option:
-“Hey, isn’t that George Lucas?”
To make nice, tell her you’ll give her an ARC as soon as they come out. Even the most opinionated friends and relatives tend to be less critical when they see things in their completed form. For instance: If you tell people you’re going to name your kid Derek when the bun is in the oven, you’ll get: “Derek? Derek’s the kid in your class who pokes your eye out with a pencil. You can’t name him Derek!” But if you tell people: “This is my son, Derek,” you’ll get: “Oh my gosh, he’s ADORABLE.” Reviewers, of course, are another story.